This month I am participating in the ‘Writing Contest: Overcoming Writer’s Doubt’ held by Positive Writer.” When this topic was announced, it was a no brainer for me. As a writer of prose, poetry, and blogs, and a 20 year career as a songwriter, continuing repetitive doubts nag me on such a regular basis that it’s almost embarrassing. So confessional blogging, here I go!
I am married to a man that has a need to understand things in order to move forward. If I waited to understand my own recurring doubts, I would never write a single line, or note, again, period. Suffice it to say, I do not understand. But I do know - that time and time again nagging doubts creep into my thoughts and life and emotions.
Doubt is, it comes, it goes; but it doesn’t have to conquer! Although it may return like a sinus headache or a chronic allergy, I can refuse to let it rule. As I humbly choose to accept its presence, it immediately loses some of its power over me.
Doubt is here, but I am writing!
I love the use of the hashtag #amwriting on Twitter. It feels like a tiny proclamation of the will to write! And although doubt, like my shadow, may appear on an otherwise beautiful sunny day, my shadow is not me. It is simply a projected image of me that comes and goes depending on the play of light and dark around me. Its appearance is a poor and inaccurate reflection that does not render justice to my entire personage and is certainly not a true reflection of my worth or value.
I have read that doubt is the shadow side of faith. This is true in my writing and artistic career. If I did not believe that I am a writer and a musician (and a good one at that) I honestly do not think I would continue to encounter doubt. Doubt would be unnecessary as a distraction to my life’s work. As it is, I have now had this inner doubt cycle dialog over and over so many times - in spite of my gifts being confirmed and affirmed so loudly and for so long - that it is simply a waste of my energy and time to give continued audience to its rumblings.
Doubts are here - but don’t bother me now - because I #amwriting!
How do you handle doubt when it rears its ugly head in your writing life?